Ah. Now I see why the earlier question (for all of my unknowing followers: http://cause-shes-bittersweet.tumblr.com/post/68211741025/if-you-left-your-car-unlocked-in-the-worst-part-of )

Now this makes me slightly irritated- but it isn’t your fault, not really. The question itself irritates me, the problem itself irritates me. There are many reasons why, and mainly because I know so many women who have been raped.My best friend was raped this past year- and while I have been fortunate (and yes, lucky in all sense of the word) not to have been, it’s something I know all to well.

The reason it sounds horrible is because you’re right- it is horrible.

What you’re asking me, it seems, is if the victim is really blameless. I say yes. They are blameless.

We have to ask questions like “where is the line drawn in how much cleavage you can show before the rape possibility intensifies for me?” and that’s rather twisted, isn’t it? And to be honest, it doesn’t happen that way. We hear stories of rape in the way that they were showing too much skin, but if you look at the data, you realize the truth in its most horrific sense. Most rapists are people that the victim knew, that they trusted. Family members. Friends. Significant others. Coworkers. This also happens to children, let me remind you. You can’t tell me a child thought her t-shirt was too provocative and wore it anyway. This is not a age, gender, or status related statistic. It is across all boards. It affects everyone.

There was also a study done in which rapists were asked why they had chosen which victims they did, and they said it was because they looked like they couldn’t put up a fight. The rapists chose their victims on how defenseless they looked- not how short their skirt was. Rape is not about sex- it’s about power. Rapists rape to feel powerful.

So you can’t tell me that it was their fault at all, can you? No. Not without stretching a quite a bit of rational thought and completely throwing logic out the window.

And it’s bigger than the moment, that’s the thing, and it is hard to really think that way. It’s bigger than the moment when the girl put on a dress and walked down the street, into the bad part of town. Or man. It’s all gender equal here. It doesn’t matter what the victim did. 

You have to think more roundly- why do we accept rape in our society? Why do we accept rape in any societies? Not so long ago women were shunned if they we raped- and in some societies and cultures they still are. Some are put to death, tossed out in the street by their families, sold as slaves, mostly sex slaves. And you might say- oh, they put themselves in danger- yes, maybe they did, but clothing changes per society, doesn’t it? What is “acceptable” as far as modesty goes is variable and interchangeable. In cultures where nude is the common costume, rape is almost nil. Isn’t that interesting?

And EVEN IF a person was wearing something “immodest” it still boils down to the rapists. In their head, they were the ones that made it happen. They were the ones who said “I’m not going to listen when they say no, I am still going to do it”.

And that’s all I’m going to say about it. Because that’s the final word.

The rapists still chose to rape.

And they didn’t have to.

posted November 28, 2013 with 3 notes   //  reblog #rape #equality #victim shaming
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